Depressturbation

I've been kind of depressed this past week, which is part of why I haven't been blogging. The weird thing is whenever I get this way, I seem to masturbate a lot more. Like, sometimes several times in one day. I donh't know if this is "normal" or not. I don't really even know if "normal" exists. But I think the reason I do it is it's comforting. And there's an endorphin release that seems to dull the depression.

I'm not sure why, but when I feel like this, I tend to fantasize about older guys when I masturbate. I think it all fits in with the depression, and wanting to be taken care of.

I have to admit, I have some older guy fantasies. I've never been with anyone more than a couple of years older than me, but sometimes I think it would be hot to be with a guy maybe in his 50s or so.

Psychologists would probably pick that apart and find some sort of "isue" or something that's "wrong" with me. But it's how I am. It's one of the things I fantasize about. I'm just not sure if it's a fantasy I will ever fulfil.

I should probably elaborate on that sometime.